Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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