So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Randomize
