Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize