Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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