If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
