im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
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Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
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I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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