He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
