So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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