It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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