The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
