I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I have surprise drugs for everyone
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
