We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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