It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
