dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Randomize
