turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
