How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
