Is it normal to miss your booty call?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
