Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize