Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
