i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
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oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Randomize