Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize