So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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