Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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