I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Dick very happy bro
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
