don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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