'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
