It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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