Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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