so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
