We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
