she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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