i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize