THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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