you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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