Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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