After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Holy sore nipples Batman
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Randomize
