Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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