I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
