like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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