it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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