Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
