saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
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you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
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He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
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