Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
This baby is an asshole
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
