your thong is hanging out like whoa
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
