Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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