piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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