Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
