Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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