you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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