I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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