you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
