im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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