im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
