you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Randomize
