I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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