I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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