yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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