my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
