I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
it's like iHOP with fire
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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