Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
