You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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