hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
